A Confederacy of Dunces

A Confederacy of Dunces


California State Legislature Moves SB 880 Closer to Passage


Last week the Senate Public Safety Committee pushed through two bills aimed at reducing gun violence.  SB 880 and SB 1446.   SB 880 will require all gun owners that have centerfire rifles with a bullet button register them with the State as an assault weapon, and will ban the sale of such rifles after January 1st.  SB 1446 ensures that no magazines capable of holding more than 10 rounds can be possessed in California regardless of how the owner acquired them.

With the scourge of violence a consistent plague on the citizens of California a concerted effort was made by the legislature to tackle the problems and see what could be done.  Initial efforts to study the causes of violence were dismissed however when it became apparent that firearms were not the chief problem.

“We have a narrative that we need to stay focused on like a laser beam.” said State Senator Mark Lovemore.  “Yes, we are aware that there are social factors involved when it comes to violence, but telling a constituent that they are going to have to change their behavior is simply not going to happen.  We have an obligation to do something, and that something is going to be taking away guns.”

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When pressed about the low number of criminal acts that take place with rifles Senator Lovemore passionately stated. “Look, I’m not interested in statistics.  We have a chance, finally, to make a serious dent in the amount of firearms that are on the streets.  I don’t really care if the firearms that we ban are used in crimes or not, I just want them gone!”

Assemblywoman Marlena Snodgrass was questioned about her public support for SB 1446.  “My nephew who I have very little contact with decided for some reason to go to a gun range.  While he was there he posted on Facebook a picture of someone with what appeared to be a very very large clip thing hanging from a very scary military rifle.  My first reaction was anger.  This house had told people they were not allowed to play with those things.  Well, first I scolded my sister for letting her son go to a place like that, then I asked my legislative aid what was up with that.  I found out that in fact you could legally possess these things.  Well let me tell you I was all riled up!  There is no need at all for someone with a large capacity clip to have one.  I mean honestly, if you can’t hit your target with one shot you shouldn’t have a gun in the first place.  SB 1446 will make those go away.”

These common sense legislative measures though are not without their detractors.  The minority of pro-gun legislatures repeatedly stated that gun users claim that the large capacity bullet holders make them safer since it limits the number of times a shooter has to reload.  They also stated that the banning of semi-automatic weapons of war is a poorly worded document that would ban traditional hunting rifles as well.

Flores Gomez-Jacobson-Gerber the public information officer of the Humane Society and a member of the States Fish and Wildlife Commission (Formally Fish and Game) responded to the accusation that SB 880 would ban certain common hunting rifles by simply stating, “Good”.

Interviews taken with subjects of California that were waiting in line for a bus outside of the State Capitol were happy to give their opinion of the potential new laws.

“Yeah, sure why not.”  Said Michael, a self described parolee who stated that he had seen the effects of a home owner with a gun on a home invader.  “I don’t want those wackos thinking they can just shoot anyone that breaks into their home.  If we can get their guns out of their hands, so much the better.”

Francine, a State Worker felt that only professionals need to have guns:

“I take the bus for a reason.  I don’t drive, because I am not a professional.  Only professional drivers should be allowed to operate a vehicle.  Why is a gun any different?”


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